he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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