I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
