I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Randomize
