im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
