I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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