WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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