I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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