I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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