So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
