I feel like abortions should bother me more
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
