About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize