I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
