I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There r osticjed everywhere
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
