Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
pray to the hookup gods
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
