Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
