We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize