just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
