I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
