Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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