I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
