i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
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The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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