i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
