the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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