You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
