Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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