I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
