The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
A+ Viking dick
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
