God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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