I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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