ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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