You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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