what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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