Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
