she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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