After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize