i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I deserve this hangover.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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