I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The adults are the big ones right?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize