i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
I dont know to explain this.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think weed is turning my hair brown
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?