What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place