im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit