he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize