That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
