I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize