Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize