That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
