Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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