Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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