i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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