I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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