Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
