i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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