That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
