if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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