This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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