the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
