My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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