I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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