I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
