Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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