i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
