I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
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