I'm jealous of your bromance
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
