we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Actions speak louder than pants.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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