he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
