There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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