just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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