He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
